3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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