I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
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you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
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Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
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