A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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