I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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