i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize