i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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