i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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