Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
