well most of my day revolves around power hour
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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