I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
