stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
