When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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