hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize