i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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