yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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