I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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