girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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