I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
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