Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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