White coat. Heels.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
