actually, I'm a sock model
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
