You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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