guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
