is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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