yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
