yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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