Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year