I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.