She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
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Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You're like the curious george of whores
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
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I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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