wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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