This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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