At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
