Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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