Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
