Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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