You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
