We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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