dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
