I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
