My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
