and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
