somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
