How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
