if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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