I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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