...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize