I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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