I smell stomach acid.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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