oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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