I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.