So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
