in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I touched a dick in church today
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