I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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