No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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