I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
