too bad you live with your parents still
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ladies don't puke and tell
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
