We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
